Saying Goodbye

Probably one of the hardest parts of owning a dog is saying goodbye. There are instances, of course, when the choice is taken from you. Those are hard days and you scream at the world for not being able to say goodbye. For the unfairness of it. There are some dogs that continue on but when the pain becomes too much they let you know they are ready to go. You get a chance to say goodbye and the dog moves on to the Rainbow Bridge dignity intact. And then there are those dogs that simply don’t want to go. Even in obvious pain they get up in the morning to say hello, they wag their tails, and they continue on as if they were perfectly healthy.

Doozer is one of those kinds of dogs.

Back in January, when he was first diagnosed with bone cancer, we were sure that Doozer had only weeks to live. He couldn’t walk on his leg and he seemed so depressed – an unusual state of mind for him. And then we changed his pain medication and he started doing better. He started actually using the bad leg. He fought his way up the stairs (just 7 of them) and then got better and better at them. It seemed like every day was a miracle and we questioned whether or not it was really bone cancer … even though an oncologist had confirmed bone cancer and we had seen the x-rays ourselves!! Who knew that pain medication cured cancer??!!

And for three months or so, that’s the way it’s been. Doozer running around (so-to-speak) like nothing was wrong. But then he started tripping over his front legs when he walked. He started drinking A LOT more water. He started walking slower and heavier. And he stopped using the leg again – which began to swell. But no matter what, Doozer continues to eat well and get around. He still enjoys going outside to say “HI” to the neighborhood kids and to greet whoever comes down the sidewalk. He wags his tail and wants to be with us. At somewhere between 2:30 & 5:30 in the morning, he jumps his front legs on the bed demanding that one of us lift him onto the bed so he can sleep there instead of the floor. He stands on the bottom step, looking around waiting for someone to help him get up them.

And so the discussions started… when is the right time to let go? Not just for the dog’s sake, but for our own? Is it selfish to let him go now? Is it selfish to wait too long? Is it wrong to worry about trying to travel with an injured dog like this? What if something happens on the road and we are no where near veterinary care? How can we leave him at home? Is that fair to him or the pet-sitter? Is he in pain now? Will he be in more pain then? Are we doing enough to control the pain? And on and on it goes. What a terrible decision that has to be made. Why can’t he just say he’s ready to go and get us off the hook??!!

A friend of mine saw him last week. She told me “Doze is not ready to go”. My response to her was “Doze could have two broken legs and be having a seizure and he still wouldn’t think it was time to go!” It is situations like Doozer’s when the humans have to make the final call. I wish we didn’t have to make this decision. I wish Doozer could be around for many more years to come. Unfortunately, it is not to be. So we did the dreaded phone call to the vet and an appointment was made. And as I’ve watched Doozer this week, I am at peace with our decision. Since last week when my friend saw him, Doozer has gone even farther downhill. Everything is hard for him. Walking, standing, even just laying there causes him to pant. He still hasn’t given us that look that says “I’m ready” but we have taken the decision out of his hands. We don’t think it’s fair to him to make him suffer even though he will gladly do so just to be around us longer. And we would like to keep him longer, believe us! But in the end, I would rather remember him as a dog ready to adventure to anything as opposed to a dog to sick and in pain to move.

And so, we say Goodbye. Or rather, Until We Meet Again My Friend.

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's.  ~Mark Twain, letter to W.D. Howells, 2 April 1899

June 27 2002 – May 6 2011

UKC Best In Show Veteran
AKC/UKC/IABCA Champion Sleepyhollows Doozer v Voyager RN CGC

Top 20 Saint Bernard (Canine Chronicle & Saint Bernard Club of America) – 2008

UKC Top 10 Saint Bernard - 2007 (tie))

Living With Seizures

So, it's been a while since I've posted and I apologize. It's been an up-n-down time. the switch of Doozer's pain medication made him feel so much better. He was actually walking around on all four legs again for a while! Unfortunately, that feeling is beginning to wear off and we think the time is coming soon to say "GoodBye". In the meantime, we'll step up again and tell you more about Doozer.

Early one December morning (~4:30am) in 2006 there was a sudden crashing and banging in the bedroom which woke us up. We quickly turned on lights and found Doozer staggering around the room - he had tripped over the water bowl which is what woke us up. He then dropped to the floor and began getting stiff and kicking his legs out. I thought he was choking on something at first and tried to pry his mouth open to check. But his mouth was firmly shut. He then went totally still and stiff and we thought ... well, quite frankly we thought he was dying. We had no idea what was going on!! And then, just as suddenly, it was over. The stiffness ended, Doozer opened his eyes and started to walk around. Well, stagger really. It took him about 1/2 hour and then he went to get a big drink of water. And just like that he was fine again. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep!! We, on the other hand, were pretty awake!! And it was probably about then that it started dawning on us. Doozer wasn't sick, or choking... Doozer had had a seizure.

Saint Bernards, unfortunately, are pretty prone to epilepsy. We hadn't heard of any of his family having seizures and called his breeder in the morning. She said that not another dog in his family had seizures. Not in all the generations she knew about. We also discussed a trigger. Our neighbor had applied fertilizer to his grass a day or so earlier and so we attributed it to that and slept lightly for another couple of nights. There appeared to be no more signs of seizures and everything returned to normal. For about 5-1/2 months. Then Doozer had another seizure... this time in the afternoon with no one home but our step-son. He called and I immediately left the office and headed home. By the time I got there, Doozer was perfectly fine! Playing with his ball like nothing had happened!! So frustrating! We did take him to the vet and they checked his blood work and a couple of other things. Nothing found <sigh>. Because he was having seizures so infrequently, the vet said it would be pointless to put him on any medication at that time. We really wouldn't get a good idea of whether or not the medication was working and it's very hard on the liver.

Doozer began having seizures about every 3-6 months. We looked for common triggers but we could never find one. Yes, the neighbors yard was fertilized the first time... but not the 2nd. Yes, we had put weed killer down in a section of the backyard the dogs don't go into the 2nd time... but not the 3rd. After the 3rd one we gave it up.

You would never know when one was coming unfortunately and so our sleep has become very sporadic. The least little noise gets us up worried about him. Slowly the seizures started getting closer together; until in July of 2010 he had one early in the month - and this one was different. Instead of the stiffness and the kicking he was just laying there like he was in a coma and he had let go of his bladder (which was typical for his seizures). Our Great Dane Fox was also barking like crazy at him which is what woke us up. Once we were up we called his name a couple of times and he immediately came back around (and Fox stopped barking too).

A week later, Doozer began having seizures about every 5-6 HOURS. It was a horrible couple of days. We immediately took him to the vet and we explained what was happening. In a situation like that you almost hope he has a seizure so the vets can *see* and *fix* it. You know, x-ray or EKC or run a brain scan or *something*!! And go AHA! We see what the problem is!! Of course, that never actually happens and it didn't in this case either. But we went home with a phenobarbitol prescription and instructions that it would take a day or two to take effect. It took about another 24 hours (and another 4 seizures) but it did finally take effect.

Most people with dogs taking phenobarb for seizures will tell you that the dogs eventually build up an immunity or something to it and begin to have seizures again. You then have to talk to your vet and adjust the dose. Doozer didn't have another seizure for 4 months. When he did - in December 2010 - , we were out of town but I did have extra phenobarb. The vets advised, however, not to adjust it immediately since he had only had the one. They wanted, instead, to have blood work done to see what his phenobarb levels were and adjust it from there. Doozer didn't have another seizure during the trip and when we did his blood work, it was well within the "safe" range. So we upped his dose another 1/2 pill and he has been (knock on wood) seizure-free ever since. It's been almost five months since his last seizure. I am hoping that the one in December was his last. Doozer has so much going on right now fighting the cancer that I don't think he could take another seizure.

I hope we never have another dog with seizures and we know we are incredibly lucky to not have a human in the house who has seizures either. Our thoughts go to those who do; we admire their courage!

Doozer - A Show Dog...?

Doozer was bought as Wilhelm's show dog. HA HA! Wilhelm's show dog turned into MY show dog! I worked with him, trained him, and took him into the ring! We, of course, thought Doozer was an awesome dog so we just knew that Doozer would finish his Championship quickly and out of the puppy classes! Well, we were wrong. LOL! Doozer kind of started with a whimper. He placed 2nd or 3rd more often than I can remember. When we took him to his first Saint Bernard Nationals (a huge show where there are only Saint Bernards) he didn't even place in his puppy class. He got his first point towards his Championship in early June 2003 at almost a year old. The next day, he won again! I don't think he won again for 6 months or more after that. He really matured very slowly. He picked up single points here and there and his breeder finally took him to California for a show and he got his first major there plus won Best Bred-By Exhibitor. At his next Nationals, from the Bred-By class again, they placed 2nd for most of the week. 6 months later - 1 month before he turned 5-years-old - Doozer finished with a huge 5 point major in Kansas. Yeah! Now his real adventure could begin! We decided to campaign him as a Champion and hope that we could place him as one of the Top 20 Saints in the country! We entered him at the next local show as a Champion... and he got dumped both days <sigh>. WHAT??!! How could this happen?? Just because it took us almost 4-1/2-years to finish his Championship didn't mean he was ugly!! Or did it? .... Naw... couldn't be. We kept at it and slowly he built up the points needed to be invited to the Saint Bernard Club of America Top Twenty event in 2008 (calculated from events June 2007 - May 2008)! He also was invited to the AKC/Eukanuba for finishing in their Top 25 in 2008 (calculated from events October 2007 - October 2008). And he finished as the Number 13 Saint Bernard in the country for January - December 2008 (according to the Canine Chronicle). See! We knew he could do it!!

Doozer's breeder took him to the 2008 Nationals where he was shown in the Best of Breed class (making all the cuts at all the pre-shows; and the first cut at the Nationals itself) and also the Top 20 event.

I took him to California in December of 2008 where it was a thrill and an honor to show him in the  AKC/Eukanuba! Although he didn't win at any of the "big" events we didn't care. He was there because he had been invited to be there!

Along the way, we also finished his UKC Championship (placing in the Group 3 times including a Group 1!). Doozer finished in a tie for #3 Saint Bernard in UKC in 2007. And we completed his IABCA (or International) Championship (placing there in the Group as well).

In 2009, after we had accomplished more than we ever expected or dreamed, we retired Doozer, and the next phase of his life began... Obedience, Rally, and couch potatoe!!

Doozer as a Puppy

First, we want to say that Doozer has been doing very well lately. Surprisingly well in fact! For the first couple of days after switching to the new medication we didn't really see a difference. But then the new medication kicked in and had him practically running around on 3 legs!! Unfortunately, we are now seeing other signs of struggle within his body. He is still active, but he sleeps much more and much more deeply. And he has to potty much more often. And sometimes, we don't think his mind is all there. He'll gaze off into space and not even hear you call him. Evidently the cancer is gaining ground :-(

So, instead, we'll think about his past. His puppy hood! After we brought him home we wanted to make sure he was a very well-socialized puppy. After all, we were going to show him and he had to be able to stand being petted and meeting new people. Little did we know what a monster we would create! Doozer went EVERY where! He went to Daycare, he went with Wilhelm to the auto restoration shop he had at the time, he went to PetsMart and PetCo. Heck, he even went to Home Depot! He got petted by everyone and soon learned to love being the center of attention... especially with the girls! He really is a "chick magnet"... LOL! Yes, we get tired of the "Isn't that the dog from those movies? Beethoven, right??" remarks, but it's just a part of taking a Saint Bernard with you that you learn to laugh about or ignore. But even now, Doozer needs to be the center of attention. If he is not in the same room as Mom and Dad, he whines... and cries... and carries on until you give up and let him be with you. He used to sleep on the bed until he couldn't jump on the bed anymore. Now, he has decided to jump on the bed with his front and then he whines and cries until someone gets out of bed and helps him up on to it! Be careful what you wish for... you might just get it! LOL!! It doesn't help that when Doozer is outside in the front yard people driving by suddenly slow down and stare. Many of them actually stop and or turn around and stop so that they can say "HI" to him. Many people have never seen a Saint Bernard before and they are just fascinated. Doozer, of course, just laps up all the attention. He thinks he was born to be a STAR!

As a very young puppy, Doozer lived with 3 other dogs: a Doberman, and 2 Great Danes. The Dobie and the Danes loved playing rough in the bedroom and every time they started Doozer would dart under our bed and hide so he wouldn't get stepped on. Yup, he was that small! Saint Bernards are born about 1 to 2 pounds but grow quite quickly. When we brought Doozer home he weighed a little over 13 pounds. By 6 months of age he weighed over 93 pounds and at a year old he weighed over 120 pounds! So hard to believe he needed to hide under the bed but he did :-)  Funny how as he got older, the bed grew smaller...  Eventually he grew big enough to start playing with the big dogs on his own!

Doozer was a pretty good lil' puppy. He really didn't chew on much (just 1 remote and a couple of wooden chair legs). He went to Puppy Kindergarten and graduated with flying colors! And he didn't dig. About the only thing he did "bad" as a puppy was learn to open doors. We have the latch kind of door (as opposed to the round knobs) and he figured out if he put his nose under the latch and lifted his head and pushed, the door would open. Kind of annoying when the bathroom door opens from the common hallway <blush>. He also loved to jump in the bath tub (with or without someone already in there). He didn't start out loving his baths and blow dries, but before long he sure did! But we'll talk about that in a future blog when we talk about his show career...

Saint Bernards are pretty hairy dogs. Even the short-hairs like Doozer. Doozer has a very plush coat and it seems like every time we turn around we need to vacuum. There are "little Doozers" everywhere! And the drool!! Doozer is actually not too bad, but Wilhelm likes to say that Doozer is our automatic texturizing machine for the walls... When it gets too bad we just paint over it!

When Doozer was 8 months old, our Doberman passed away suddenly. It was a heartbreaking loss for us, but especially me as I had brought the Dobie with me from my previous marriage and he was my heart dog. Somehow, Doozer knew what was needed from him and he stepped in. I didn't want him to at first, but he was just there waiting for it. Eventually, as the pain from the loss of the Doberman subsided, I noticed Doozer again. Not that I didn't love the Danes too, but Doozer managed to slip close to that empty hole that the Doberman had left. Doozer and I bonded and suddenly Wilhelm found himself without "his" dog because he became mine! From that time, Doozer started responding more to me than Wilhelm. If we are both at home he prefers my company. He is happy enough with Wilhelm (if he *has* to!!) but it's me he comes to for comfort and petting when needed.

How we got a Saint. And why "Doozer"?

Before we met, I had Dobermans and Great Danes (and a Chesapeake Bay Retriever). Big Dogs! Obedience training for the Big Dogs was in the unit next to where Wilhelm did auto restoration. He loved the Big Dogs too! He would sometimes wander over to see the trainer's Great Danes. But in his heart, he had always wanted a Saint Bernard. Big, hairy, drooly and absolute loves! And this was before the Beethoven movies existed :-)

So, when we got together, we talked about getting a Saint Bernard. I was already showing dogs by this time and so had seen some of the Saint Bernard people around. Doozer's breeder had a boy named Larry. A smooth Saint who was in the Top Twenty. I thought he was a stunning dog and fell in love with him. Wilhelm would have been just fine with a Saint rescue, but I figured if we were going to get one we might as well get one that we could show <we... HA! Doozer was supposed to be Wilhelm's show dog!! But more on that later>. After talking with Doozer's breeder, I hung around the Saint ring a little more often and it turns out the breeder had a long hair girl by the name of Bailey. OMG! If Larry was stunning, the Bailey was the epitome of what I thought I wanted in a Saint! A lot of Saint Bernard girls are very heavy and doggy-looking. I'm used to Danes and Dobermans where girls should be very feminine looking. Bailey was all that and more! The next time I caught up to the breeder, I told her if she ever bred those two together we wanted a puppy! Well, she did breed those two and a litter of 5 was born (2 boys, 3 girls). Of course, when Saints are born you do not know if they will be long or short hair. We kind of wanted a long hair, because we thought it would be easiest for a novice handler as smooth Saints are harder to finish. The breeder invited us over when the pups were just 3 days old and picked up one of the boys and said "This is going to be the pup you want". I looked at the other boy but had to agree with the breeder. Even at just 3 days old you could see the head was going to be awesome on this pup.

After that, we went over to the breeder's house every couple of weeks to watch the puppies and get to know them. And wouldn't you know it... at 8 weeks old it turns out the ONLY smooth puppy in the litter was the boy we wanted <sigh>. We talked it over, and talked with the breeder, and we decided to take him home. It certainly was not a bad decision in the long run!!

So, after 8 weeks of watching the puppies grow... how did our boy become named Doozer? Because years and years ago there was a cartoon named Fraggle Rock. On it, were these characters named Doozers. And Wilhelm said that was the puppy's name. He thought it would be a cool name for a Big Dog. The only problem was, he pronounced it Dozer (like bulldozer). Wilhelm knew it was spelled with 2 "O", but thought it was pronounced like 1. I didn't remember the cartoon so we rented an episode and after we did, the error was discovered. Wilhelm realized the Dozers were actually Doozers but it was too late to change the pronunciation as Doozer by that time answered to Dozer. The good news is, it doesn't confuse people if you are just pronouncing it :-)

So, our baby Doozer came home and a 8-1/2-year love affair began.

Welcome to Doozer Stories!

Doozer is our Saint Bernard (UKC Best in Show Veteran-AKC/UKC/IABCA CH Sleepyhollows Doozer v Voyager RN CGC. A Top Twenty Saint Bernard in 2008). He was born June 27 2002. On January 10 2011, Doozer was diagnosed with bone cancer. This blog is our way of not only saying "Goodbye" to Doozer, but a way of remembering Doozer too. It will, hopefully, ease our pain a little when Doozer passes on to the Rainbow Bridge.

Currently, Doozer is doing very well. On Sunday Jan 9, Doozer woke up just fine and it was a regular day. By mid-day, however, he had developed a limp and by end-of-day he was not placing any weight on his right hind leg at all. We took him to the vet on Monday and they x-ray'd. The vet first thought it was a cruciate ligament problem and only took x-rays to rule out anything else. Unfortunately, it turned out that the x-rays showed the bone cancer. Because Doozer also suffers seizures we are limited in what medications we can give him. Our vet suggested piroxicam. And although Doozer still cannot use that back leg, he is getting around on 3 pretty well. We have opted to not do amputation, chemotherapy, or radiation therapy. Although Doozer is currently getting around pretty well he is also severely dysplastic in his hips and elbows and so unless we can give him back the use of all four legs his time on this earth is going to be limited. We did not feel that extraordinary measures to extend his life by a month or two would be worth the pain of what we would all go through.

And so that in a nutshell is Doozer's introduction! If you care to join us through our journey you are welcome to. We don't guarantee it will make you laugh or even smile. It may though; and it may make you cry and give your own fur-babies a REALLY BIG HUG!!